For Eliza's First Month

We’re celebrating my daughter’s 1^st month today! Hmmm… my daughter… still feels a bit awkward saying this, yet it also gives a sense of pride and joy in me. Yes, I am now a mother and I declare it with a big smile on my face.

Until now hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na nakaya ko ang 9 months at kinaya ko ang normal delivery. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko yun kakayanin kung wala si God at ang asawa ko sa tabi ko through it all.

Here’s the whole story:

BACKTRACK A BIT

“Baby, wag ka muna lalabas agad ha? Antayin mo umuwi si Papa,” were my husband’s words as he leaned to my tummy and talked to the child inside. My OB told me that I could experience labor pains as early as the last week of August even if my due date is still on Sept. 15. “Wag muna sana doc, hindi pa pwede kasi aalis pa ang Papa nya,” were what I told my OB. My husband needed to fly to Cebu for a 4-day training so despite my knowledge of some pre-labor exercises, I deliberately didn’t do it. Nag-walking lang ako from time to time.

We made several arrangements like me sleeping over at our office each night until my husband gets back kasi mas secured ako because my shift starts at 3am. So every night at 6 or 7pm I arrive at work bringing a few of my stuff including my cell phone inside the sleeping area, in case of emergency. I sleep there and wake up at 2:30 am to clean up and prepare for work.

Sunday, August 28, I still had to facilitate a class. I went to mass, went home and waited for my husband’s arrival. When my husband got home, I was so happy and I felt safer. He again leaned towards my belly and whispered, “ayan, andito na si Papa, pwede ka na lumabas.”   

The following day, we had another pre-natal check up. My OB performed IE and said 1cm na ako. Magwalking na raw ako sa boulevard every afternoon para hindi ako mahirapan kasi 135 lbs na ako (gained around 30 lbs during pregnancy). So after that Ace and I went to the mall para maggrocery and para na rin makapag walking ako. When we got home, I saw that I was bleeding but the doctor just told me not to worry because it was just a normal occurrence after an I.E.

Around 9 pm I woke up to prepare for work. Our shift then will start at 11pm. I saw that I was still bleeding and again, the doctor said na normal pa rin as long as minimal ang blood. I told her, it’s okay kasi I don’t feel any pain naman. I continued to observe. At work, Ace told me to take a nap to which I obliged. Nagvisit pa ako sa chapel namin before I went to the sleeping area. At around 2:30 am I woke up and I went to the C.R. Ang feeling ko noon, may menstruation ako kasi nararamdaman ko yung flow. I was right. So I called my OB and she advised me to go to the hospital para magpa-I.E. So ako, nagworry kasi I thought something’s wrong with the baby. I even asked my officemate if what I’m experiencing was normal. But NEVER did it cross my mind that I am at the verge of delivering the baby.

THE MAIN EVENT (TOTALLY UNEXPECTED ARRIVAL)

I went to Ace’s class and told him about what happened so we went to the hospital. Sabi ko pa, “sana okay lang si baby para after, makabalik tayo agad sa office.” What I had in mind was ipapa-check up lang ang status ni baby and kung ilang cm n ako then balik na sa office. That’s it. But when I got to the hospital at 3:30am, they told me na 4cm na ako and humiga lang daw ako. I told them, “a talaga? Wala naman ako nararamdaman na super sakit.” Nakinood pa nga ako to an actual delivery which was next door. Ang sabi ko pa, “hala, ako kaya? E hindi pa naman ako marunong umire.” I found myself amused of what’s happening around me. Then the nurse told me to go back to bed kasi bawal na daw ako tumayo.

Then everything became so fast. I called up our training coordinator, chuckling in disbelief that I was already in labor. I told one of the nurses, pwede ba na umuwi muna ako then balik na lang kapag 10 cm na? That’s me, the “neophyte mommy” talking. Talagang clueless sa mga nangyayari even if I have read tons of things about labor. It’s really true – no labor and delivery stories are the same. I put a seal on that.

Totally wala pang gamit na nalabhan para kay baby!!! For the entire week na plan ko maglaba, hindi natuloy ni sa isang araw out of that week because it kept on raining and also for the fact na limited lang ang time ko sa bahay cause doon ako nagsleep over sa work.

So I texted Ace on what to bring. Good thing we’re blessed to have our helper Lizel to prepare all the necessary things. I also texted Ace asking him kung kamusta na sya kasi alam ko clueless din sya. I also told him na kinakabahan ako pero sobrang excited. Natatawa ako kasi hindi ito ang scenario that I pictured out. It was really not like in the movies at all! Cool na cool lang kami. Walang panic moment or any drama.

At first hindi pa ako naniniwala na manganganak na pala ako. Hindi pa talaga nag sink-in sa akin. But when the nurse already shaved me, doon na ako naniwala. Doon na ako kinabahan. I felt alone amidst all the attending nurses. Wala si Ace sa tabi ko. I requested for him pero I only got to see him sa may door kasi hindi pwede.

That’s the time I surrendered everything to God. I prayed for my baby, Ace, the nurses and my doctor. In my mind I was singing “How Great is our God” and continued worshipping Him. Habang lumalakas ang pain, mas lalo akong kumanta. This was how I drew my strength. I talked to God, “Lord, everything right now is uncertain but I believe that You are here with me and that You will keep us safe and help me throughout this time.”

5:56 am I texted my husband that my water bag broke and 5cm na ako. At 6am they already called my OB and she arrived 15 minutes later. My last message to Ace was to send me socks cause my feet were cold.

“Manilyn, are you sure you don’t want any pain reliever?” asked my doctor. I told her, “kaya pa doc.” Then after a little while I realized that I needed to reserve my strength kasi kung titiisin ko lang yung pain baka wala na akong lakas para umire. So I finally asked for a pain reliever. At that time it was already really, really painful (10 out of 10).

My doctor said, umire na daw ako kasi 7cm na. Ang bilis! Nagugulat ako sa mga pangyayari noon kasi ang bilis talaga. Then all I can remember was they were all ngarag, nagmamadali kasi lalabas na raw ang baby and hindi pa ako naprepare. I felt they lifted me and nalipat na ako ng bed. Then ayun na, nagpupush na ako. Wala akong makapitan. I felt a steel tube sa side ng bed ko, Dun ako kumapit and gave it my all to push. Naramdaman ko talaga na lumabas na si baby and yung cord. Never have I felt so tired in my life like that before. Knock-out! It was a struggle for me to open my eyes na but when I saw the doctor lift my baby and heard my baby’s first cry, I was relieved and thanked the Lord.

Ruptured by 5am, the whole labor lasted only for 3 hours and 44 minutes. AMAZING! AKALAIN MO YUN?! Well wala talagang imposible kay God!

THE DAY WE FINALLY MET OUR CHERUB

August 30, 2011. 7:44 A.M. – a milestone that will change my life forever.  It has been a long 9 months of waiting and throughout that period, worries flew in and out of our heads but the thrill and happiness immediately washed it away.

The day finally came. Mixed emotions surged in me and in spite of my trembling and tired body, I felt really strong. My will to recover as fast as I can for my baby took over me. Our baby girl is finally here with us, for good. Her excited grandparents from both sides were our baby’s first guests.

ELIZA YOHAN

Her name is meaningful to us. Her first name, “Eliza” (E as we pronounce evening, and Liza as it rhymes with “Aiza”) is a combination of our mothers’ names – Izobel (Ace’s mom) and Chiza (my mom). We had an agreement na kapag boy, we’ll combine our fathers’ names while a mix of our moms’ names will be done if it’s a girl. Eliza is also a Christian name which means “my God is a vow”.

Our baby’s second name, “Yohan” is a German form of the name John. I chose this name cause I like something na parang pang-boy na name pero pwede naman sa girl. But more than that I chose the name for 2 important reasons: On the day that we learned about her gender, it was the feast of St. John the Baptist. The 2^nd reason is connected to baptism. Since Ace and I got married in civil rights and is yet to be wed in church, I opted to choose the name because of St. John the Baptist who was God’s instrument to baptize Jesus. This is my way of offering my child to God prior to receiving the sacrament. Yohan means “God’s gracious gift.”

FROM TITA TO MOMMY MAYEN

God indeed prepared me for this. I’ve been a tita to my 3 wonderful nieces for quite a long time. I’ve experienced being hands-on tita/yaya and playmate/teacher and also a second mom to each of them. Now, it’s my turn to be a full time mom to my own child. I’m not saying that I’m already an expert at motherhood and mothering. Heck, it’s a big learning curve. But despite of my reservations, I know I’ll get by – with a large chunk of help coming from my hubby Papa Ace, our families, friends, and of course, my main man, God! :)

God has given me a new direction, a new vocation, which are being a good wife and mother. I wholeheartedly accept it.  Please Lord; hone me to be terrific at it. Please Mama Mary, help me too.

To our baby Eliza Yohan, I just want to let you know that God loves you more that we could ever love you. But as your parents, we have loved you even if we haven’t met you yet and now that you’re with us, we love you much more. Your mommy Mayen and Papa Ace will shower you with love, protect you and keep you safe, provide for you the best way we can, and become your friends, your mentors, your guide, and your companion for the rest of our lives. We are so happy to have you and will always be grateful for you.

So now, on with the new and very exciting chapter of my colorful life! :))