Even if I'm not a Daddy's Girl

I grew up with my mom telling me stories like when I was a baby, my dad used to make me lay down in a make-shift duyan made of blanket and ropes tied on each end. She would then tell me na pagmadaling araw nababasa sila ng wiwi ko kasi nasa ibabaw ng bed nila ang duyan ko or if not, nasa tabi ako ng daddy ko and so he gets soaked up since I'm just in my lampin.

What I also can recall is whenever I have assignments about current events and politics, he's the one my mom let me call to kasi he worked in Bacolod and Cebu when we were growing up.

We would send cards for special occassions and letters if we need some things to pay for sa school. When he goes home for a two weeks vacation, mag-gegeneral cleaning kami and it feels like we have a visitor coming over.

I grew up na hindi kami close ng Daddy ko. I already know I'm not his favorite child and it wasn't a big deal. I think the only time it was an issue was nung nakauwi sya sa graduation ng ate ko when she graduated in grade school tapos sa graduation ko wala sya.

I grew up na hindi nya alam ang fears ko, my own desires, my secrets, my failures, heartaches, my own petty or sometimes kinda big problems, and even some of my own small successes.

What I know is he thinks of me as a tough person, determined and at times stubborn too. There was a time na I lived with my parents and it was a revelation to me-- seeing and knowing who he really was. Before, it seemed like he's the kind of dad who doesn't get angry that much and the one who always has a smile on his face. I don't know if it's because of his age kaya he seems to be a worrier now than before and mas madalas na siyang ma-high blood. I thought before na mommy ko ang mas nagagalit and at times tend to say harsh things, but mas matalas pala dila ng papa ko, may kasama pang gestures at facial expression.

Though it seems that what I'm writing is derogatory, for me, I'm just being honest. I do not have a perfect dad after all. But then, this is what makes him human. He may be all religious and acts holy at times, but I saw his human side.

We have had all sorts of arguments and most of the time our ideas clash. I think he even sees a contrabida in me. But inspite of all these, I will never ever dismiss nor forget the fact that he is one vital part of my life; no ordinary man I may say.

He's been a good provider to us.
He's done his best to send the 4 of us to good schools.
He's been there to help me with my assignments.
He's been my critique and he challenges me to work my butt off.
He taught me that prayers can move mountains and that faith in God will always be my saving grace.

And though I am not a Daddy's girl, I know God has selected the best dad I could ever have.

Happy Father's day Dad! I love you.